I was sorting through some family pictures yesterday and found a lot of my deceased brother. He was so cute and I started thinking about my role as the older sister. We were 5 years apart in age, and I don’t think I was always there for him when I needed to be. I was struggling with my own issues, and learning about my self.
But I was telling my mom about all the pictures and that I had decided to make a “memory” book . The problem was, didn’t know who I should give it to, his wife, or his mother. Big dilema. Then I though of copying the pictures and making 2 of them. But didn’t like that idea. So my mom kept telling me she liked the pictures of him starting kindergarten and of him graduating from high school. So I though I would do something with those pictures for her. His children and wife, didn’t know him when he was growing up and I thought this memory book would be a good way to add to the wonderful world of him that they knew. As I was sorting the pictures, I thought, it was not fair what happened to him, his family and ours. It got me thinking, that we need to take every day and make it great. My brother had a great sense of humor and I liked that about him. It really did change my life. I do think differently about things now, I try not to sweat the small stuff, and negative people, I am learning to let them go. I don’t have time to be negative, we never know.
But I thought a memory book was a great idea. I use to do scrap booking and still had some of my supplys. I will make a little one, but only hope they appreciate it. I hope his kids use it to tell thier childrene about him. He was a great guy and gone way to soon.
This blog is about TURNING LIFE’S CHALLENGES INTO OPPORTUNITIES
We all go through challenges in our life. Sometimes we choose them and sometimes they choose us. Sometimes they are temporary and sometimes they are long and permanent. Whatever the case, we need to embrace them and move forward as best we can. This blog is devoted to helping all of us do that. You will learn tips from others, from me, from books and from experts in the field in dealing with life transitions in empty nesting, unemployment, divorce, death, time management, balance and returning back to school to name a few. We need to embrace all that life gives us, the good and the bad. We all want to be happy and spend as little time as possible on challenges, so embrace these tips, use them hopefully to fulfill your goals and to empower you to be the best that you can be. Susan Life Coach
memory book
Recovery
When I was practicing as an addicitons counselor I didn’t see very many success storys. But now that I am out of the situation, I run into either old clients, or new ones that have been in recovery for a while. They say to me,” Sue, I can’t believe I didn’t do this earlier. I am so happy and could have had this earlier.” I was talking to a recovering person yesterday and she had gotten married, and bought a beautiful new home. She was also working and felt life was great. She still had some health problems, from her past, but even they were getting better.
Why do we wait so long to do things? I don’t think there is an answer for that. Relapsing is about lessons. It is about work that still needs to be done. We just need to listen. But also the universe works in mysterious ways, it keeps giving us our lessons till we get it. For some of us it is the first time, for some death, but for most of us, it takes a couple relapses before we get it. I do know one thing, it helps us appreciate life so much more. We don’t take things for granter, we speak nicer , laugh more, see colors more, stop to smell the roses.
In a way, I wish everyone could learn this lesson. If more people would take the time to “smell the roses” the world would be a better place. I think the biggest lesson relapses teaches us is that we are human and we are ok. Recovery, is about healing from the past, and learning to live life on lifes terms, not on ours. THe only way we can do that is to “surrender”, wave the white flag against the drug. It beat us, will beat us and can beat us. It will always win in the end until we surrender.
I don’t know why we go through addiction. I m sure people don’t wake up and say “I m going to be an addict when I grow up”. It is not a fun place, and we don’t necessaily choose it consciously, but once we are in it, it is hard to get out. But I do know, that once we are in a “Recovery ” state and love life, it will be hard to go back to that old life.
Down time
Is there such a thing as “too much down time”? I didn’t use to think so but lately I have been. People that have been unemployed over a year, and still cant find a job., mothers who’s children have left the nest and are finding them selves alone for the first time in ages. At first, we love our down time but after a while it gets old, believe me. Then it is time to take a class, find a hobby, volunteer, etc. I don’t know anyone who just sits home and does nothing. Now, those of you who want to work, might have a hard time finding a job, for the universe sometimes attracts the opposite, those that don’t want to work, or don’t need to, usually find the jobs, go figure. But we must still hang in there. Hopefully the universe has something bigger and better waiting for us.
Transitions are hard to get through in the frist place, but having too much time on our hands can be a transition too. For those of us who have worked all our lifes, it can be a dramaitic adjustment. One some of us never thought we would find ourselves in.
So what are some remedies?
We have to have patience, this is probably the hardest requirement.
We are the only ones who think our situation is always 911 not anyone else.
‘We have to be doing “something”. Get up an move, walk, read, go, take a drive etc. When we are active, our mind works better and it is in a better position to advise us of what our next move should be.
Talk to someone. A therapist, a minister, a friend, someone, that you can trust and feel safe with. You need to be able to express your anger, depression, feelings, etc. If you keep them bottled up they will turn into physical symptoms that may not be as easy to fix.
Have Faith, Do what you need to do. If you are a Spiritual person, sometimes faith is all you have left. Meditate, read, but try to keep hope. If we don’t have hope, we have nothing.
Find a sense of humor, laugh at least 2x a day. If we can’t find a sense of humor in our situation, then watch something that will make you laugh. We have to get it out somehow. To not laugh is just to be miserable and that is not healthy for you or anyone else.
THerapists
Today I want to speak to professional Therapists who have their own private practice, and have worked at least 20 years.
I also had worked as a therapist for over 20 years but when the last clinic I was at closed its doors, I wanted to keep working but wasn’t sure I wanted to do therapy anymore. I discovered a whole new world when my dear friend told me about coaching.
After feeling a little burned out, I thought that coaching was a new and refreshing way to still help clients, get a new motivation for my career, and not have to deal with resistant clients or the crazy paperowrk required with insurance. So I took the course and got certified.
Coaching and therapy are similiar, but not at all the same thing. IN my eyes, therapy is about recovering from your past, processing your unsolved issues, and healing in the present. Coaching is about, discovering, what is next. Going and pursuing anything you want to pursue and setting new and exciting goals. It is for people who want to move forward, done healing and are ready to get on with their life. You can reach clients around the world or in your city. You can do it form the comfortable chair in your own home, or at your office. The best part, is their is little paperwork and you don’t have to worry about calling insuracnes to get authorizations and making sure paper work is completed in a timely manner. Wow, I thought I was in heaven. You can still keep your current clients after they are done with therapy if you think they are ready to move forward in their life. You don’t explore the past in coaching, you work form where they are in the preent , so it is very important that they have resolved most of thier issues. If they haven’t then they need to continue therapy until they are ready to move forward.
For us as the coach, it is a being rather than a doing, I don’t have to know more than my client, I just have to be there for them, in that moment on the phone and be a co creator in their future.
If you are interested give me a call or respond to this blog.
Retired men and women
My husband and I were talking the other day about our “bucket” list. He will be retiring in a couple years and is really looking forward to it. I got to thinking, is retirement different for men then women? I do know a few retired couples, and it seems to be different for everyone. When we were talking about the bucket list, I couldn’t believe how different his was form mine. Mine included alot of things with him and his hardly included me. He said “you know I just assumed that you would want to do your own thing, so I would do mine”. Did he assume it cause he wants to do His own thing or did he really believe I did. I think women like to include their husbands in things, like travel, and entertaining. Men is appears are more about relaxing and being alone. Destressing!
When I was speaking to some of the other wives they all said the same thing. Their bucket list included more things to do with their husbands than the husbands did. I don’t think it means they love us less, or don’t want to be with us, I think their minds are wired totally different and so they think differently then we do. So my husband and I made two bucket lists, one that included things with each other, and one that included things alone. My “with each other” list was so much longer than my “alone” list was. In speaking to other wives, they found this to be a good way to experience retirement too. Plan some things together and some alone. What do you think?